I'll Remember
by December Sapphire
Summary: "You are here, aren't you? I can feel you. Seven hundred and eighty two days," she breathed out under the petals of a flowering cherry tree. "I can't believe you've been gone that long, but I still remember you." AU


**A/N** : **Welcome to my first Shunnao story! I've been lurking around this pairing for about a year now and just love them! For awhile I didn't know whether or not to write a story featuring these two, but the number of stories of Shunnao is so small I finally cracked and said "My turn!". So here I am.**

 **I just want to make something perfectly clear. I do not see these two blood related in anyway. If Kubo did actually make them blood related (he never labelled them as so specifically and timeline is just off), then I write these two only as an AU pairing and nothing more. However, no canon plot-line will change anything about how much I love this pairing. I shipped them before this disaster happened and I'll ship them after. It won't change.**

 **This one shot was longer than I expected...sorry. If this story goes well, I'll probably start a multi-chapter in the early new year! :3**

 **Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Except the poem...that's mine.

I'll Remember

 _"Love is like the wind, you can't see it but you can feel it."_

Nicolas Sparks _A Walk to Remember_

 _Dear Rangiku,_

 _How are you?_

 _I apologize if that introduction seems too plain. I was never good at writing letters. Writing reports are easier than this, and it's been over two years since I've done one. I still don't know how I managed writing report after report and form after form for all those years. It's insane to think I did every single day. Became second nature, you know? Perhaps it was because of him._

 _Anyways, it has been a total of seven hundred and eighty two days since I left the Gotei. I know you told me not to count the number of days since…but it's who I am. He would probably tease me for doing so. He always did have a strange sense of humour. That's one thing I'll always remember him for._

Nanao placed the black brush onto the white paper to write more, but paused. She sighed heavily, putting the brush back into the holder and rolling the paper into a ball, throwing it across the room. The birds were singing outside. The weather was sunny and warm. Flowers were in perfect bloom. So why was the room filled with ripped up white paper? Why couldn't she write a measly letter to her friend? Why did it have to be so hard?

The sense of dread filled the atmosphere like thick smoke. She rubbed her fingers on the bridge of her nose, feeling the exhaustion of stress. It was only a quarter passed noon and she already wanted to sleep. And because she was living out in the twelfth Rukon district now, sleep came fast. The quiet was too much. All she did was relax all day and take small walks to an open field a few kilometers away. There she would read a few poems given to her by her Taicho and go home. She would sleep in the middle of the afternoons and drink heavily at night. She had turned into someone she never thought she would turn into.

She turned into him.

She laughed at the irony of it all. For all the years, Nanao hated his horrible habits. She often delivered her annoyance at him for it, and now she was doing the same thing. Her eyes moved to the bottle of sake an arm's reach away and shook her head.

"You idiot…." She murmured, staring at the wooden ceiling. "You never did stop drinking, even after all my lectures. Well, you were never one to listen when it came to me scolding you about alcohol. That's one thing I remember about you."

xXx

 **Two years ago.**

 _He was nowhere to be found and Nanao was getting frustrated._

 _She'd looked everywhere for her Taicho, but nothing. One person said they spotted him on the roof of the division, one said he was spotted at the thirteenth, and another said he was spotted at the seventh squad bar. He wasn't on the roof, she'd already check there. When she got to the thirteenth, Kiyone had told her Ukitake-taicho had been asleep all day and Kyoraku-taicho hadn't come by. So, the bar was the last place. The only problem she didn't like about this scenario was the fact it was one in the afternoon and he might be cold stone drunk. She had told him repeated times not to drink during the day and now look what he was doing! He was probably too drunk to even get home now._

 _And beside the point, the foolish man had blocked his reiastu, making his find almost impossible for her._

Why is he blocking me in the first place? _She thought, as she ran through the seventh district._ He never blocks his reiastu from me, especially when he's drinking. _She stopped running, catching her breath._ Could he be angry with me?

 _She shook her head, erasing the ridiculous thought. "Why would he be angry? He's never angry with me…"_

 _Maybe when she was scolding him earlier, he got fed up. Although, he never did show it at the time, she did remember him walking out of the office a few minutes later with no word on where he was going. Perhaps she said too much to him. But he would've told her if she had gone too far, wouldn't he? Over the years, they did have a few mishaps here and there, but nothing too major. The only big argument they had was ten years back when she got injured out in battle by a hollow. He told her after she wasn't allowed to go out into the battle field anymore, and after many reasoning's and explaining that she was a Fukutaicho, she concluded it was her civil duty as part of the Gotei 13 to go into battle, knowing the risks. It ended with her not speaking to him for a week. But that was her ignoring him, not the other way around. This was a first for him to be avoiding her._

Why?

 _She entered the bar, looking over every individual in the room. She focused on finding her Taicho's reiastu…still nothing. And she couldn't spot him in the few people in the room._

" _Ise-san?"_

 _Nanao turned her head at the familiar voice to come face to face with Tetsuzaemon Iba. Nanao did not want to deal with this guy at the moment._

" _What are you doing here in the seventh?"_

" _I'm looking for Kyoraku-taicho. Have you seen him?"_

" _Hm? No, I don't think I can recall seeing a pink-kimono-wearing Taicho around here."_

 _She rolled her eyes. "Well, if you see him, can you please send him back to the office? I need to talk to him."_

 _He grinned at her widely. "Yeah, maybe…for a price."_

" _Pardon?"_

" _I'll make sure to send Kyoraku-taicho back to his barracks if you give us the SWA meeting room for a month."_

 _She glared at him through her thick glasses. "The SWA has worked hard to proclaim that room, and I'm not about to give it up for some men to talk about what phone design is the best."_

" _Hey, it's a phone design for everyone!"_

 _She walked by him, not keeping eye-contact with the fool. "The answer is no, Tetsuzaemon-san. Goodbye." She paused at the door. "Oh and if you see Kyoraku-taicho, please tell him I'm looking for him!"_

 _There was no reply._

 _She was getting not only irritated, but worried. Where was he? What if he went too far this time with his drinking? She placed her hand on the side of the wall, holding the other against her chest. Her eyes closed, trying to not to think of the worst scenario. He was one of the strongest Taichos. He would never let a few drinks kill him. Never._

 _Moving out of the seventh division, Nanao walked back to her barracks. Perhaps he was back there now sleeping on the couch. Nanao could only hope._

 _She shunpoed swiftly through the Seireitei. Butterflies fluttering in her stomach, making her mind rubble with concern. Every step felt like she was falling further from her barracks.. Almost as if she was in a tunnel and was getting farther and farther away from her objective. She couldn't shake off the horrible feeling. She needed to find her Taicho. She had too!_

 _But when she was just passing the tenth, she stopped suddenly, spotting Rankigu walking out of the tenth gate. Her friend had a look of confusion stuck to her face. Still, she could be a clue to where her Taicho might be. Rangiku might not be the first person Nanao would go to in this situation, but her and Kyoraku-taicho were drinking buddies, and if her Taicho was drinking, Rankigu would know where to find him._

" _Nanao-san, are you okay? You're all…sweaty."_

 _Nanao breathed. "Please tell me you've seen Kyoraku-aicho."_

" _Why? You can't find him?"_

" _No! That's why I'm asking!"_

 _Rangiku placed her hands up in defense. "Sorry…I haven't seen him. Did you two get into a fight or something?"_

 _Nanao shook her head. "I have no idea. I might've said something to him…I can't recall at the moment. Listen, do you have clue where he might be?"_

" _Your guess is as best as mine. You're the one who knows him best, Nanao-san. I don't know where he is." She smiled. "But don't worry, you know him…he'll come back eventually to get more sake or whatever. Don't worry too much."_

 _Nanao nodded. "Thanks anyway."_

 _She was about to shunpo away when Rangiku stopped her. "Nanao-san, you know how deeply he cares for you…I don't want to say too much into that subject, but he would never do something stupid to end up leaving you alone. Just remember that."_

 _Nanao turned her head slightly over her shoulders, just enough to see her friend from her peripheral vision. "Maybe I don't know him enough then."_

 _And she leapt away._

 _When she returned to the office, her mind was numb. She felt like she was trapped in a labyrinth of choices. She entered the office, wondering what her next move would be. The smell of newly bloomed cherry blossom flowers flowed through the room like a never ending bliss. She walked over to his desk, touching the soft woodwork, her eyes landing on a pink cherry blossom on the surface._ Guess all I can do is…wait… _Her hand reached for the soft flower, her fingers playing with the petals in her hand_...wait a second. _She ran out of the office building, remembering a key thing in their conversation this morning._ How can I not remember? I was so busy lecturing him, I…forgot.

 _She shunpoed to the park nearby—the green grass, flying birds, oak trees and cherry trees everywhere— and under the large cherry tree in the middle of the park…him._

 _He was casually sitting against the cheery tree, hat over his eyes, and a small picnic basket beside him. She wanted to run to him crying, wrap her arms around him, and never let him go. But she knew it would only cause her to be seen as weak. So she walked normally over to him, watching him stir and lift his head to meet her eyes. Nanao didn't know why, but something inside her changed then. Her heart pounded like a rhythmic drum against her chest. Her knees grew weaker, shaking. She was forced to slow down her walk to a complete halt. And her mind filled with neon electricity, pushing her a little more forward towards the man._

" _Nanao-chan! You made it!"_

" _Taicho!" She swallowed the lump in her throat, and looked away. "This is where you've been all day?"_

" _Yeah, where else would I have been, sweet Nanao-chan?"_

" _Nowhere, but why did you block your reiastu?"_

" _Oh, well I didn't want anyone looking for me or you. I though a few hours alone with no disruptions would be nice. I did tell you earlier where I would be, didn't I?"_

 _She glanced at him at the corner of her vision, catching the grin he was famous for. Many women fainted at his knees when he flashed his legendary side grin. Nanao would roll her eyes and avoid him whenever he radiated it towards her privately._

" _And besides, Nanao-chan, we haven't been spending enough time together."_

" _We would spend a whole lot more time together if you were in the office more. Besides, we can't just stop work in the middle of the day and have a picnic in the park. That is for a more casual day such as the weekend or a holiday."_

" _But Nanao-chan, you even work on weekends and holidays. Even after I tell you not too. You're always too stubborn to obey my orders. That's one reason why I rarely give them to you." She could hear the frown in his deep voice. It rattled through her ear cannels like loose rocks blowing through the wind._

" _And the other reason?"_

 _He chuckled deeply, making Nanao glance over to his direction. "If I told you that, you would think I was joking. Plus, you would probably kill me."_

 _Her dark blue eyes moved away from him again, knowing what he meant. Throughout the years, he had shown it through crappy poetry and lame, teasing gestures. Every time she would get lost in a sea of golden light, and every time she would swim away, and push him farther and farther from the shore line._

 _The flirtatious Taicho read crappy poetry and gave teasing gestures to every woman. Nanao found herself nothing special. Even if he wasn't joking with her._

Do I really not know him as well as I think I do?

" _Nanao-chan? Are you alright?" his voice reached her. Sheading a hint of concern._

 _She shook her head, reclaiming her professional composure. "I'm fine, Taicho. Come along, we have work to do."_

" _Nah, why don't you come and sit down with me for a while. Breathe some fresh air and smell the flowers. It's sometimes good to get out of that dusty office."_

 _This made something inside her brain snap. Her hands balled up in a fist. Teeth clenched. Eyes flared. And she turned fully to him, ready to kido his stupid hat off his head. "I have been getting fresh air all day running around looking for your sorry ass! And the office is not dusty for your information! I just cleaned it yesterday! Perhaps you would've noticed if you ever came to the office, goddammit!"_

 _Nanao was shaking. Her breaths came out in short puffs of air. Never has she been this angry. And she deeply regretted it after._

 _Her eyes landed on him. He wasn't moving. His face held no emotion, like Nanao had sucked everything out of him from her words and voice. This was clearly not good. In the times she has seen Kyoraku angry; it had started in a way such as this. Of course, he had never gone cross with her. But she had a feeling she was just about know what it was like._

 _Her eyes lowered to the ground. "I'm sorry…I shouldn't have…Taicho…I apologize for acting out just now. I don't know what came over me."_

" _Nanao-chan…."_

" _Just yell at me, Taicho. I deserve it. I should have never have yelled at you. I never yell…well I do…"_

" _Nanao-chan…"_

"… _but you know it's never my intention and I'm just trying to be professional. It's who I am as a Fukutaicho…"_

" _Nanao…."_

"… _and I know I lecture you to, perhaps too much, but Taicho it's because I care for your well-being…._

" _Nanao!" Two hands were placed on her shoulders._

 _She didn't realize he was standing right there, so close to her. She also didn't realize how casual he looked too. His hair was down; his_ _Shihakusho was open more than it usually was. He was so close to her, her eyes could see each hair, each scar on his tanned chest. And his scent…although did have a stained odor of sweet sake, he held a more luscious smell of cherry blossoms and fresh grass—definitely from him lounging under tree for hours today. Still, it made Nanao's heart jump like colourful jellyfish stings. His touch took her body on a journey through an everlasting river of relaxation and deep blue calmness. All the anger boiled inside, disappeared._

He always made me feel so…content. _She thought, moving slightly forward and shutting her eyes._

 _A small smile appeared on her face._

 _And a pure white warmness overwhelmed her senses, something only her Taicho possessed._

xXx

Nanao walked on the dirt path towards her destination. The sun hung high in the sky; still the warmness did not fall upon her. The same warmness her taicho left her with from his touch, from his words, she had not felt it for seven hundred and eighty two days. _I'll always remember that warmness…_ Sometimes she could feel it in her dreams, but it wasn't the same. And often she would awake cold and forgotten, with a side of a major hangover headache.

She wondered if she would ever feel the warmness again.

 _As long as I remember._

Her hands tightened around the small, black, wrinkled notebook as she looked up towards the trees and blue sky. On her back, a small jug of sake hung lazily, the clear silver liquid swaying slightly from each step. These were his favourite hobbies.

 _He always loved days where you could see blue sky in every direction._ She breathed in the soft spring scent and moved forward in the forest.

Soon, a few kilometers from her home, she emerged from the forest into a vast, grassy meadow. Hills moved up and down like waves through the landscape. Grass danced in the wind, surfing on its surface. To a passing stranger, this place would be nothing more than a normal meadow. But to Nanao, this meadow held dark scars in its soil. A blackened past that she held deep in her heart.

She walked a little ways in the meadow before she arrived at a single cherry tree in the middle, blooming passionately in the quiet spring. There she sat down, leaning against the tree casually. And beside her, a small grey rock, carved so smoothly into a grave marker.

"Good afternoon, Taicho." She spoke faintly. "How are you today? It's a beautiful day. I came to read you some poetry."

Nanao opened the black notebook. Inside, the rough cursive of: 'To Nanao-chan, always remember who you are. It is you that keeps me alive. Love, Shunsui' was written in the bottom left hand corner inside. He never had the best handwriting, but Nanao never had trouble reading it.

She spoke each word like it was the last, savouring his voice in her head.

" _There will come soft rains, and the smell of the ground_

 _Will glisten at the sight of stars,_

 _Painting the concrete in shimmers of gold and silver._

 _Moments of everlasting freedom,_

 _Drowning in the taste of neon lights_

 _Will melt faces that sprout jelly fish tendrils_

 _Of rainbow electricity._

 _And swallows circling with their shimmering sound_

 _Will fly wildly in the starry sea._

 _Sounds of illusion that give cosmic relations of midnight rain_

 _And longevity in falling diamonds_

 _Shine from the sky. Mother Nature glows brightly_

 _Under the illuminating moon,_

 _Clearing the misty air and revealing lush greenery._

 _And frogs in the pools, singing at night_

 _Awaiting the day when the sun appears,_

 _Lighting the world once again_

 _In true colours. There will be_ _no tall concreate pillars_

 _Rising high up into the sky,_

 _Only mountains; stone giants_

 _Ruling the world once again._

 _And wild plum trees in tremulous white,_

 _Will spawn in the Garden of Eden,_

 _Challenging anything to take away_

 _A new found world._

 _The sun will rise together with the dawn_

 _Showing once more we are reborn."_

She closed the book and looked at the stone grave beside her.

"You always did have a way with words. You should've written more like this and not that romance junk." She laughed. "I think this one is one of my favourite so far. The outside was one of your favourite places to be. I remember that."

A wind flew by her and she shut her eyes, sinking in the spirited feeling. But she opened her eyes again and frowned, remembering the darkness this place buried in its deep roots.

"I wish this place wasn't your last."

xXx

 **782 days ago.**

 _Rain._

 _Nanao never liked the rain. Even on a small mission such as this._

 _Her Taicho had even told her not to go, yet she snuck away, knowing it was her duty to go. She felt bad for disobeying him, but she knew it was her right to do this._

 _She was in a group of six men, all from her division. All non-seated, but still skilled enough to fight off medium sized hollows. They were conducting an investigation in the twelfth Rukon. Several villagers had disappeared from the increase of hollow activity. It was the third seats turn to conduct the mission, but she insisted she do it and not to tell Kyoraku-tachio._ Who should be sleeping off a major hangover and will remain in bed until I return to splash water on his face, _she thought with a sigh._

" _Ise-fukutaicho, do you feel that?" one of the men announced._

 _A heavy aura fell upon her like the rain. Steal balls of energy hitting her skin with a tough force. It was a powerful hollow. "Yes, this way!"_

 _She ran forward with the men in tow. The rain hit her face like tiny rocks as she moved. And when she emerged from the forest, she stopped, entering a large field of green and darkness. Grey clouds hovered over. Wind twisted and turned. Lightning struck the sky as thunder followed like Raijin's drums in the heavens. And in the middle of the giant waves, a hollow—twenty feet in height, horns and a face of a bull – fed silently on the remains body of a small boy and clothing probably belonging to his mother._

 _Nanao, disgusted and furious by this scene, charged forward with her hand glowing with a heated kido. The men called her name, but she ignored, focusing on the hollow ahead. Flashes of her past rang through her mind like fireworks. Tears of regret and loss fell from her eyes. She didn't want anyone else to die due to this monstrous creature._

 _The blue kido shot from her hand and hit the hollow, forcing him back from his prey. He roared in her direction as she ignited another in her hand. Green saliva seeped from his jaws causing the ground to mystify from its touch._ Poison… _"Stay back, everyone!" She yelled. "This hollow…if it touches you, you'll be evaporated. Stay well behind me!"_

" _Yes, Fukutaicho!" they called._

 _She fired another kido and another, but the hollowed didn't seem too phased by it. In fact, it seemed to grow more pissed at her weak attempts to slay it._

 _The hollow spit in her direction. She dodged easily, and then heard a muffled cry behind. Her eyes widened when one of the men liquefied before her eyes. Then another. Then another._ This hollow isn't trying to eliminate me. It's getting rid of them first then… _The saliva shot in her direction and she rolled away in time._

 _She looked around, searching for the men, but they were gone, leaving only their Zanpakutos and clothing behind. She was alone in this and wasn't sure she would be able to escape._

 _Every chance she got, she shot a kido at the hollow's direction. However, each shot grew weaker and weaker. Rain mixed in with sweat on her skin. Deep, hard breaths misted the air. Her body was growing tired._ I can't keep this up for much more. Kyoraku-taicho….

 _The hollow came at her again, this time he charged, roaring like the thunder above. Nanao gasped, her body frozen. Legs glued to the ground. She shut her eyes, and waited for it to be over._ I'm sorry, Kyoraku-taicho. I disobeyed you.

 _No impact came. No sharp pain or burning white light. There was nothing, but a curtain of pink and two duel Zanpakutos. Nanao breathed out, witnessing her Taicho slice the hollow's mask. He flashed around the creature, moving swiftly with the rain and taking of the hollows horns. It roared in pain, slashing its claws towards the man, only to end in failure._

 _Kyoraku shunpoed so fast Nanao could barely see his movement. The rain poured harder, making it difficult for her to see. Through her Taicho's lightning fast movement and the hollows swift strikes, it became a blur of black, white and pink._

 _The hollow roared again and a bright flash shot through the sky, igniting the area. It was there where she saw her Taicho cut the hollow in half, landing in front of her with an emotionless expression. He never looked back at the hollow, only her. Their eyes met and Nanao could feel his heavy reiastu pouring down with the fast droplets of water._

" _Kyoraku-taicho…." She muttered._

" _Nanao-chan, you aren't hurt, are you?"_

 _She shook her head, and he gave her his grin._

" _I'm glad."_

 _As he sheathed his swords, she noticed some movement behind him. Then her eyes widened._

 _It had happened so fast. If she saw it coming, she could've stopped it. If she knew the hollow wasn't completely dead, she could've stopped it. But she didn't have enough power and she could only call her Taicho's name as one of the hollows claws pierced through his chest._

 _The hollow vanished shortly after, but Nanao was only focused on the man slowly falling on the wet, grassy ground. She ran over to him, her hands hovering over the giant claw sticking from his chest. Kyoraku's breathing came out in short huffs. His skin was quickly growing paler than Ukitake-taicho's hair. And the colour red slowly seeped from the wound, staining his tan skin._

" _Taicho…" Nanao breathed out. "…I…"_

" _Nanao-chan…do…not…touch…"_

" _I have to get it out or you'll die!" she snapped at him._

 _But she couldn't touch a claw that was poisonous._

" _I…have to…save…you." Tears started to seep from her eyes._

" _Nanao-chan…."_

" _You're…always…saving me."_

" _Nanao."_

 _The lack of 'chan' caught her attention and she looked in Kyoraku's eyes._

" _You…must stay…strong." He rasped out._

 _She shook her head. "No...no… you have to be okay! Please!"_

 _His hand caught her cheek, adorning her with his famous grin. "Nanao-chan. My sweet, beautiful Nanao-chan."_

 _Her hands held onto his, grasping them tightly._

" _I love …you…. I always…have. Remember that…"_

 _She bit her lip, nodding. "I…love you, too."_

" _So…you finally say it…."_

 _She laughed at his words, placing her lips onto his cold hand—still enveloped in her own hands. The rain above slowly stopped and she looked up at the grey sky, seeing a bit of blue shine through. "Kyoraku-taicho, look… it finally stopped raining. We should…go on a picnic to a place like this one day…tomorrow. Let's go…tomorrow."_

 _She looked at his tired expression. His eyes were slightly closed; still he managed his famous grin. "I don't think…I'll be…able to make it…tomorrow…Nanao-chan."_

" _Then the next day?"_

" _Nanao…chan…I'm sorry…."_

 _She shook her head. "Don't apologize to me. You…have nothing to apologize for. I was the one who disobeyed you.…"_

 _His eyes had closed while she was speaking. His hand had gone limp in hers. But his grin still stood._

"… _Taicho?" She leaned back and his hand fell to the ground. His chest had stopped moving and his skin had turnedice-cold like Hitsuguya's zanpakuto. Nanao shook her head, taking his cheeks in her hands. "Kyoraku-taicho! No…no…please you can't! No …" she sobbed, laying her face in his neck. "Please don't leave me. If you do, I'll pour all your sake down the drain! Shunsui!"_

 _She sat up again, seeing the sun come through the sky, shinning on the beauty around them._

" _Look…this place…the sun…" she looked around and caught sight of a cherry tree not far from their position. "There's a cherry tree over there. We can relax over there…just…don't go….No….Shunsui…"_

 _She leaned forward, her face getting closer to his, and did an act she has always wanted to do._

 _Her lips carefully, but passionately moved onto his. A single tear fell from her eyes and onto his pale skin, and she pulled away knowing it would be the first and last time she would ever express her love towards him._

xXx

"Seven hundred and eighty two days," she breathed out. "I can't believe you've been gone that long."

She looked over at the marker.

"Still," she opened a bottle of sake and swung it back, feeling the liquid burn her throat, "you aren't really gone, are you?"

"No, he isn't." a deep, soft, familiar voice answered.

Nanao turned to the other side of her to see Ukitake standing just feet away. She quickly stood up, shocked to see a Taicho so far from the Seireitei, especially Ukitake-taicho. _Although,_ _he was Taicho's best friend. I guess I'm not the only one who visits him._ "Ukitake-taicho, it's been awhile."

The man smiled. "It has. How have you been fairing, Ise-san?"

"Fine, I guess."

She didn't move as he walked passed her, kneeling down at the grave marker. After a moment of silence, she turned her head over her shoulder.

"How often do you visit him?"

"I try at least once a week in the morning if I'm not busy. I notice you come every day."

Nanao blushed. "I live close so it's easy for me."

He stood up and gave her a look of concern. "You know, Ise-san, Shunsui never meant for you to end up like this."

She shot a look at him. "Like what?"

He looked out into the horizon. "Tell me, Ise-san; are you happy with your life right now?"

She shrugged. "Yes, I'm content."

He nodded. "You don't have to keep it in, Ise-san. Not with me."

Nanao look a moment to think about it. "Um, it's been hard. I'm not going lie, Ukitake-taicho. Not seeing him every day. Not hearing his voice…I would give anything to hear his voice right now. I hear it sometimes in my dream, but it's never enough. And he had this warmness, you know. You could feel it whenever he entered a room—just this general, relaxing warmness. Perhaps that's why I decided to leave the Gotei and move out here. He always loved areas like this, even though this place was his last. Living nearby, I feel closer to him. Then he's not alone and I'm not _as_ alone."

"Ise-san, Shunsui never meant for you to live this way."

"What do you mean?"

"He never meant for you to leave the Gotei, Ise-san. You've changed so much since you've left."

"I have?"

He pointed to the sake bottle, not saying a word. Only frowning.

"Perhaps I've changed a little. I'm just scared…" she stopped and looked at the grave marker.

"Scared of what?"

She blinked up at him. "Scared I won't remember him the way I want to. He left so much behind. I count the days he's been gone so obsessively. I wake up so late and I'm still tired, but it reminds me of when he did that every day. I drink…" she laughed. "...so I can make sure I dream of him."

"And why do you think that is?"

"I guess…I guess it's to keep his memory alive."

"Ise-san, whatever you do, you will always keep his memory alive. You probably already know this, but he did love you. And even if you never did, he always did everything in his power to show you he loved you every day."

She nodded. "I know. I did too. I wish I could've shown him my feelings more."

"You probably did in your own way, Ise-san. Even now, you are. And he knows that." He walked passed her, heading back the way he came, but stopped for a moment. "I know you're probably tired of hearing this, but he would've wanted you to move on. He wanted you to enjoy life to fullest and keep working hard to protect the people you loved. At least, that is what he told me once. His death wasn't your fault. He died doing something he loved, and that was protecting you. Always remember that." He gave her a small grin. "Goodbye, Ise-san."

Nanao watched him walk away until he shunpoed, disappearing from her sight. She took a deep breath in, feeling the wind through her loose hair. She could almost hear his voice saying: _He's right._ Nanao smiled. "You always were listening in the shadows."

 _You are here, aren't you? I can feel you. Your warmth, it never really left did it. It was just a little harder to find. And although you are gone, you are never forgotten. I'll do what it right and live my life to the fullest. Don't worry, Shunsui…_

"…I'll remember."

* * *

 **Reviews are awesome! I love them! :3**

 **If I start a multi-chapter, it wont be sad like this. This is as extreme as it gets.**

 **I'm new writing in this pairing so let me know what you think of a new writer in this amazing ship. I'm sorry if this was too sad...I would still love to hear your thoughts though. :) I can promise you this will be the only sad story I write of these two. Shunnao is my OTP...trust me I never like doing this. Even I cried!**

 **Hopefully this doesn't change anything.:)**

 **I'll see you all on the flip-side!**

 **-Sapphire**


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